Forget the image of the flashy high profile media journo living at Double
Bay and zipping around in the latest phallic symbol that BMW has to offer.

A recent poll amongst 4WD owners who frequent forums on the subject has
shown that the general consensus is that journos tend to be either gheeey
militant lesbians with munchausen's syndrome, or night clubbing boy toys who
have a fixation with being tied to bullbars and whipped by trannies.

The reality is, these drivers of old European shitboxes, are not really the
flashy high profile personalities they like to see themselves as.

A new study of these Volvo driving, mung bean eating bottom feeders is that
they are more likely to be involved in unnatrual sexual acts due to their
incessant drinking and drug taking. This is a common activity amongst cadet
journos.

An unmentioned Australian institute has found they are more likely to sleep
with their senior editors to get their own way or further their careers.

Based on Orphelia Snotgrottles latest survey, the average cadet journo is
likely to be sexually frustrated with a hatred of meat eaters and anyone who
is still allowed to live at home or drives a car that runs on more than 3
cylinders and doesn't backfire.

Two thirds of them are likely to have pimples.

They have a high regard for the welfare system and utilise it regularly when
their freelancing bombs out.

57% of them agree that whilst the polls indicate that it's the rich and
rather snobby city folk who look down their noses at the unemployed, that
wouldn't sell stories and these people are their bosses anyway.
57% therefor agree that picking on 4WD owners will suffice until something
better comes along.

Most stories condemning 4WD owners, have as much appeal as Harold Scruby at
a nudist camp.

These journos like to see themselves as attractive, popular and
smart.....whilst the eccies are still working anyway.

Authors say that whilst these journos like to exaggerate the fact they drive
European sports cars, the truth is they picked them up unregistered at the
wreckers then all of their squat house got together and threw in their
welfare cheques and got it registered.

However, drivers of cars later than 1999 are different. Their parents bought
them for them to compensate for the fact they were ashamed of their chosen
vocation.

These rare examples of petulance, flounce around Taylor Square after
midnight telling people they are researching an article. This is untrue,
they have family who work up there.

They are more likely to not have to watch their weight as Aunty E does all
the work for them.

MoonArse University advises that journos are more likely to die by having
the crap beaten out of them by people they offend, than by being run down by
a Toorak Trolley.

In short, these bottom dwellers lives revolve around writing that "amazing
article" that gets them recognised, even if it has not an essence of truth
and is blown up bigger than a Boston housewife with cravings for Krispy
Cremes.