> For 10+ years I've watched dickhead after dickhead use a left hand turn
> lane to queue jump anywhere from 1 to 30 cars. Recently I tried something
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> would flow and we wouldn't have to brake to let 1 or 2 inconsiderate
> arseholes (back) in therefore nuking the very idea of traffic.
Wouldn't work if everyone stayed in their lane, because there would always
be one person driving below the speed limit slowing down an entire queue of
cars behind him.
mg - 25 Mar 2008 14:27 GMT
>> For 10+ years I've watched dickhead after dickhead use a left hand turn
>> lane to queue jump anywhere from 1 to 30 cars. Recently I tried something
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
> be one person driving below the speed limit slowing down an entire queue
> of cars behind him.
At least they're moving, and not braking or changing gears which has a far
greater flow_on effect.
Arf, what would you know, you drive a CRV with 6 P Plates, you think it's
cool to reach that red light/pedestrian crossing/intersection first.
> For 10+ years I've watched dickhead after dickhead use a left hand turn
> lane to queue jump anywhere from 1 to 30 cars. Recently I tried
> something new, I use my left indicator on them. They become confused or
> intimidated, breaking the law has this effect.
<Opportunity Knocks)
Breaking the law?
The Law says you should indicate intention - nothing whatsoever about
that intention being immutable, binding or even compulsory. in short,
you're perfectly entitled to change you mind. If you can find anything in
the Stupid Statute Law about not being allowed to change your mind about
a manoeuvre you're signalled your intention to complete, you'll be a star
indeed.
It's a bit like the classic double-start. You'll Never get a court to
agree it was the fault of the double-starter (who changed their mind)
when the prang happens. Well, you might - but you'd better have a ripper
lawyer, video evidence and a major league double start caused for
instance by a roundie roundie charger, or (you guessed it) someone else
changing their mind about where they were going and when very very late.
ITYF that the arseholes who habitually pull the stunt you mention reckon
the world owes them a living.
Ergo, you're doing the right thing indeed.
But the reason they freak isn't because they're confused or intimidated -
it's entirely because they have on account of their behaviour patterns
and personality, an extremely well developed sense of self preservation.
Follow me though this analysis.
The arseholes (yes, it's OK to call them that, for they are) have one,
and only one, excuse.
This is what they trot out - they're actually improving traffic flow by
increasing the number of vehicles managing to pass through an
intersection - one of course controlled by traffic lights.
There's of course a problem there, for traffic lights actually advantage
Advantage Taking Arseholes. They are in fact a control mechanism, not an
assistance mechanism, used by GovCo universally as if they are a Good
Thing.
Roundabouts used correctly sh.t all over lights for traffic flow. Yes, if
used correctly then do allow smooth traffic flow. Advantage Taking
Arseholes ALSO ruin that, what with charging and tailgateing shite they
carry on with - but I digress...
Back to the Advantage Taking Arseholes excuse for queue jumping - their
LIFETIME behaviour exhibits these trends you see in the traffic. They
jump queues everywhere they encounter them. These are the arseholes that
sneak forward in the cafe queues to ostensibly investigate what's
available. So they peer around the sneeze shields and even sniff at the
food on display, you guessed it - just when the imbecile behind the
counter is at the point of serving the next customer. Since they're
'there', the advantage taking arsehole simply orders the stuff they want
- most even readying their money in whatever form for payment as they
ordered - as if it was meant to be.
in real terms, then the Advantage Taking Arseholes know damm well they
are infuriating others but because those others are demonstrably
inferior, theyre safe. This is all well and good when an Advantage Taking
Arsehole is dealing with a normal civil, well mannered human being. But,
when an Advantage Taking Arsehole meets up with someone who regards
Advantage Taking Arseholes as the inferior being - all hell breaks loose.
This is why the Advantage Taking Arseholes actually develop an above
average sense of self preservation - they have to, from an early age, too.
I have to add - Advantage Taking Arsehole behaviour is rarely if ever
actually smart.
A prime example of this involves my Dog. And a Goat. And a dog-wire fence.
From time time the goat would become entangled in the fence. Head through
the fence, waiting patiently (as goats do) for someone to arrive and set
her free of the fence. If the dog got there first, he would attempt to
hump the goat.
This dog is on no sense smart.
Not even for a dog.
I would venture that this is proof right there of the intellect necessary
to be an Advantage Taking Arsehole.
These Advantage Taking Arseholes are generally Rat Runners, too. No
normal civil behaviour for them - oh sh.t no - they don't use the Rat Run
to ease their driving effort - say to avoid an extended up-hill stop-go
situation - no, they rip it right up the rat-run - late braking all the
intersections, frightening the horses, killing little kiddies playing in
the street, and eventually having the councils install car-busting gear
to discourage the Rat-Running. They they go out and buy a monster 4WD
and use the ski-jumps installed - literally. Heroes, too, these
arseholes.
But there are 'cures' available to the community blight of Advantage
Taking Arseholes (ATA's.)
You have one - it works - so stick with it. However, even advantage
taking arseholes can have a memory. Should you get involved in more
radical spoiling behaviour, you may need to change your car/truck to
maintain the edge you've achieved over them.
But why go at them in half measure?
You can simply run the advantage taking arseholes off the road. Why
indicate? They don't - at least Never early enough. This may however need
careful planning - for the Pigs are apt to become a tad emotional about
such things.
You an drift about in your lane. Works best if you temporarily adjust
your RV mirror(s) to use to see the ATA's while you're ostensibly looking
at anything but them.
Simply straddling the lane marking with your vehicle works well enough -
unless there's another ATA in the right lane, of course:-)
You can, after first checking for legitimate left-lane traffic - eg
buses, stage a shortish breakdown if you have the time. The trick there
is to organize the ATA into being so close behind you that they can't get
out of the lane without using reverse - an absolute bummer for an ATA.
That nails possibly hundreds of ATA's.
Hint: Use increasing G's under brakes as opposed to normal decreasing
G's. BTW, many ATA's use the Increasing G's trick All the Time. It helps
them create 'advantage'. Use it against them.
You can do the ATA's in who are turning left in an opposing traffic flow.
The ATA's are readily identifiable by the Late or nonexistent use of
indicators and an obvious delay in putting their machine into a posture
that would telegraph an imminent left turn. This is when you have the
chance to turn right, but you can't - The ATA's goal is to make You Wait
for Them.
Your goal is to rip it across their bows as if they simply aren't there.
Takes timing, but it's an easy enough skill to learn - mainly because you
have the advantage because the ATA has a sharper turn to execute than you
do. Gets good to excellent results, too. I note that Victoria had this
one covered once upon a time due presence of trams. ARR's can be a crock
of sh.t at times.
Through all this, and more, you prime objective to use up as many of
THEIR heart-beats as you can and as few of your own as possible. The
general idea is to make absolutely sure they have to pour themselves out
of their chariots when they get to their destinations. If you let them
get there, that is.
For instance, a regular 'offender' ATA can be forced to miss their
intended turn-off. Every day, if enough right thinking citizens get used
to the idea that ATA's are in fact the enemy.
You can assist this process by forcing the ATA to take radical evasive
action such as to annoy even the most placid fellow motorist. Keep it up
and eventually and entire compliment of users of a given road in a given
time-frame will be actively hunting down the ATA's. I've managed to have
a community of drivers reach this divine state on several occasions. The
ATA's were behaving like actual prey after a time but do you need a
smallish road and ATA's with defined travel habits to reach this blessed
state. But It Can Be Done.
When it does happen, the ATA's will actually use another road rather than
lose the ATA mentality which they simply cannot manage.
I recall one spectacular success when an ATA was so fucken bad a few
people actually contacted it's company and it has it's company car ripped
off it. It wasn't me doing the reporting because I reckon what happens on
the road stays on the road - but it was most certainly me who repeatedly
snookered the ATA who caused all sorts of ructions in the traffic behind
my gentle persuasion techniques. Personalized plates are a mighty fine
thing, sometimes.
> Anyways, it works great - two weeks and it has a 100% success rate of
> submission, it even works on public holidays!! I encourage you all to
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> inconsiderate arseholes (back) in therefore nuking the very idea of
> traffic.
With the ATA's, it's all about Them - remember, the world exists solely
for their convenience.
There's absolutely nothing there for the community interest unless it
coincides absolutely with the self interest of the ATA - but the basics
are that ATA's don't know what community interest is, and they never
will.
Finally, be comfortable in the knowledge that if you inadvertently kill a
few, they won't be sadly missed other than by their fellow ATA's and
perhaps the despicable families that foist these scum of the earth upon
us. What a shame oh dear never mind.
> Only stupid people are breading - (WHOOPS)
> http://www.filecabi.net/video/traffic_jams_recreated.html

Signature
Toby
> Only stupid people are breading
Oh, the irony
<Shakes heads> at the moron that is making kids in a Breville Bread
maker.
f.ck you dumb c.nts from aus.cars astound me
Not hard to hit F-12 before you hit send. No wonder Noddy loves
having this dumb c.nt "mg" and Feral Al in the group, that make Noddy
look like the smartest man on earth. I bet you dumb c.nts also fell
for kRudd's I will bring fuel prices and interest rates down.
<SHAKES HEADS> at the morons of aus.cars again.
Noddy - 25 Mar 2008 23:29 GMT
"Noddy" <GordonLightfootIII@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1cbc8c2e-adfe-452b-a80f-
> <SHAKES HEADS> at the morons of aus.cars again.
From a 12 year old Home & Away watching aus.tv regular.
Oh my gawd the f.cking ironing :)
--
Regards,
Noddy.