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Car Forum / Australian Car Forums / General Car Topics (Australian group) / February 2005Polish Joke
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?" POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home." LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?" POLE: "It made of concrete." LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?" POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one." LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?" POLE: "All my relations still in Poland." LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player." LAWYER: "Does your wife beat you up?" POLE: "No, I always up before her." LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?" POLE: "No, she white." LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?" POLE: "She going to kill me." LAWYER: "What makes you think that?" POLE: "I got proof." LAWYER: "What kind of proof?" POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, Polish Remover'." what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? More Yank shite to pollute australia with? f.ck off Yank lover! > A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. > Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > shelf in bathroom. > I can read, and it say, Polish Remover'." > what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? > More Yank shite to pollute australia with? > f.ck off Yank lover! Oh FFS! with comments like that you must have serious issues. it was a joke no matter where it comes from a joke is a joke as in humour.  SignatureRegards Dan "In all of us there is a lawless side like a wild beast, that peers out during sleep" - Jim Steinman You miss the point don't you? Yes it was funny but couln't the op have changed it to irish for us AUSSIES? >> what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? >> More Yank shite to pollute australia with? >> f.ck off Yank lover! > > Oh FFS! with comments like that you must have serious issues. it was a > joke no matter where it comes from a joke is a joke as in humour. > You miss the point don't you? > Yes it was funny but couln't the op have changed it to irish for us AUSSIES? Why Irish? Shouldn't it be Kiwi's? why kiwis , shouldnt it be ubekistani's -- cb250rs->gpx600r->xj650->fzs600->zx7r->900ss->zx636r->yzf750r->trx850 > > You miss the point don't you? > > Yes it was funny but couln't the op have changed it to irish for us > AUSSIES? > > Why Irish? Shouldn't it be Kiwi's? > why kiwis , shouldnt it be ubekistani's Because traditionally it's your neighbouring country, silly. > > why kiwis , shouldnt it be ubekistani's > > Because traditionally it's your neighbouring country, silly. AAH, so Poland IS right next door to the USA? > > > why kiwis , shouldnt it be ubekistani's > > > > Because traditionally it's your neighbouring country, silly. > > > AAH, so Poland IS right next door to the USA? That's what they think, probably. I was under the impression that they were always poking fun at the Canadians. Smee, the punch line regarding "polish remover" would not work as "irish remover". > You miss the point don't you? > Yes it was funny but couln't the op have changed it to irish for us > AUSSIES? Somehow "irish remover" just doesn't work the same. Graham W <zebedee@alphalink.commercial.au> wrote in news:37p5njF5g13q7U1 @individual.net: >> You miss the point don't you? >> Yes it was funny but couln't the op have changed it to irish for us >> AUSSIES? > > Somehow "irish remover" just doesn't work the same. The Pols really are that bad. I had no idea until I saw a few in action on a UN Mission :-) Yes we joke about the Irish, the rest of the world Polish, and with good reason. Ron > The Pols really are that bad. I had no idea until I saw a few in action on > a UN Mission :-) > > Yes we joke about the Irish, the rest of the world Polish, and with good > reason. Next you'll be telling us, they all drive Jags. :-P SignatureTake Care. Feral feral <plonked@home.ru> wrote in news:4217c109$0$27629$61c65585@un-2park-reader-02.sydney.pipenetworks.com .au: >> The Pols really are that bad. I had no idea until I saw a few in >> action on a UN Mission :-) [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Next you'll be telling us, they all drive Jags. :-P No, FSO's (Fiat Copies). I doubt they could spell Jaguar :-) > No, FSO's (Fiat Copies). I doubt they could spell Jaguar :-) That'd be FSM. As in the FSM Niki. SignatureAthol <http://cust.idl.com.au/athol> Linux Registered User # 254000 I'm a Libran Engineer. I don't argue, I discuss. >> No, FSO's (Fiat Copies). I doubt they could spell Jaguar :-) > > That'd be FSM. As in the FSM Niki. No, Athol, FSO! Fabryka Samochodow Osobowych, which means Passenger Automobile Factory. It is now known as Daewoo-FSO. http://digilander.libero.it/cuoccimix/ENGLISH-automotorusse9-C(FSO).htm Fiat Auto Poland (FAP) purchased FSM car factories in Bielsko Bia?a and Tychy and took over the existing network of suppliers. Ron >>> No, FSO's (Fiat Copies). I doubt they could spell Jaguar :-) >> That'd be FSM. As in the FSM Niki. > No, Athol, FSO! Okay. Two separate companies. Both building Fiat copies. So we were both right. :-) > Fabryka Samochodow Osobowych, which means Passenger Automobile Factory. > It is now known as Daewoo-FSO. > http://digilander.libero.it/cuoccimix/ENGLISH-automotorusse9-C(FSO).htm > Fiat Auto Poland (FAP) purchased FSM car factories in Bielsko Bia?a and > Tychy and took over the existing network of suppliers. So are FAP related to Fiat (Italy) or GM (owners of Daewoo)? SignatureAthol <http://cust.idl.com.au/athol> Linux Registered User # 254000 I'm a Libran Engineer. I don't argue, I discuss. >>>> No, FSO's (Fiat Copies). I doubt they could spell Jaguar :-) > [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > So are FAP related to Fiat (Italy) or GM (owners of Daewoo)? No idea, doubt if the Pols do either :-) >>No, FSO's (Fiat Copies). I doubt they could spell Jaguar :-) > > That'd be FSM. As in the FSM Niki. My wifey feels better now. :-) SignatureTake Care. Feral feral <plonked@home.ru> wrote in news:4217f86b$0$27627$61c65585@un-2park- reader-02.sydney.pipenetworks.com.au: >>>No, FSO's (Fiat Copies). I doubt they could spell Jaguar :-) >> >> That'd be FSM. As in the FSM Niki. >> > My wifey feels better now. :-) Does she have a Niki? > feral <plonked@home.ru> wrote in news:4217f86b$0$27627$61c65585@un-2park- > reader-02.sydney.pipenetworks.com.au: [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Does she have a Niki? Now who can't spell? :-P SignatureTake Care. Feral feral <plonked@home.ru> wrote in news:4218201a$0$27858$61c65585@un-2park-reader-01.sydney.pipenetworks.com .au: >> feral <plonked@home.ru> wrote in >> news:4217f86b$0$27627$61c65585@un-2park- [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Now who can't spell? :-P Not Micky, NIKI - Fiat 126 copy :-) Ron > feral <plonked@home.ru> wrote in news:4217f86b$0$27627$61c65585@un-2park- > reader-02.sydney.pipenetworks.com.au: [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Does she have a Niki? I think it may start with an M ? > Graham W <zebedee@alphalink.commercial.au> wrote in news:37p5njF5g13q7U1 > @individual.net: [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > Yes we joke about the Irish, the rest of the world Polish, and with good > reason. No they don't. You need more fibre in your diet. > what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? > More Yank shite to pollute australia with? > f.ck off Yank lover! another one who misses the point. > You need more fibre in your diet. > >> what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? >> More Yank shite to pollute australia with? >> f.ck off Yank lover! > another one who misses the point. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >>> More Yank shite to pollute australia with? >>> f.ck off Yank lover! not at all, its you who misses the point , in qld its cockraoches ( your one) you know its called greek boy. > what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? > More Yank shite to pollute australia with? > f.ck off Yank lover! Apart from still being a biatch smee you worry most of the semi normal folk in here... only time you show is to flap your gums over bullshite and even that is like now often wrong... You really have the greeks disease.. whoosh >> what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? >> More Yank shite to pollute australia with? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and even that is like now often wrong... > You really have the greeks disease.. > whoosh > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >> and even that is like now often wrong... >> You really have the greeks disease.. OK, not an Irish Joke. Really. From www.fark.com. Today "Irish-born actor Liam Neeson claims he doesn't have a drinking problem. Scientists to study "non-drinking Irish actor" right after Big Foot, Tooth Fairy" SignatureToby quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur >>whoosh >> [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > problem. Scientists to study "non-drinking Irish actor" right after > Big Foot, Tooth Fairy" Whale Ill beef Hoooked :_) >>> whoosh >>> [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] >> > Whale Ill beef Hoooked :_) Shite, you just started a sentence with a capital. :-P And I said you didn't have a pretty side, it might be starting to show. We shan't hold our combined breaths though. SignatureTake Care. Feral > whoosh > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >> bullshite and even that is like now often wrong... >> You really have the greeks disease.. yup you sure did greek boy > what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? > More Yank shite to pollute australia with? > f.ck off Yank lover! Continuing with the joke theme, here's a quickie: A guy applies for a job on a building site as a labourer, gets hired, and turns out to be the best worker the boss has seen. However, the next Monday he calls in sick. "Hmm.. taking a long week-end" thinks the boss, but as he's such a great worker he let's it go. For the rest of the week he works his arse off, but calls in sick again on the next Monday. The boss questions him on the Tuesday, and all the worker says is "I was sick. I told you that on the phone". The third Monday comes around and the worker calls in sick again, so the boss decides to pay him a visit and catch him out. He drives around to his house to see his car in the driveway, and bangs on the door. As he does so, the door creaks open to show the worker and some bird going the tonk on the loungeroom floor. The boss is embarrassed at first and says "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge in, but I thought I better come and check on you to see if you're okay". He looks at the girl for a minute and says "Hey, this girl looks remarkably like you! who is she?" "She's my sister" says the worker. "You're sister?" "You're f.cking your sister?" the boss says in disbelief. The worker replies "Well, yeah. I *told* you I was sick" :) Boom tish. -- Regards, Noddy. >>what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now? >>More Yank shite to pollute australia with? [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > Regards, > Noddy. Heres some real "Boom Tish" for ya... http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf Firthy |
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