trying to replace an oxygen sensor, and have a problem i've never
encountered before.  i just can't get the wire unplugged.  ok, to
clarify, this is on the wife's toyota not on either of my bmw's, but
toyota folks are so less helpful, i figured i'd cross post here as
well.

anyway, the sensor is on an '02 with 85k miles, and doubtless
original.  on the toyota it's in one of those places where you're
lucky to get a hand on the connector, i can't see how to get two (at
least of my hams, and the wife, tho petite, isn't about to lend a
hand, sorry for that).  so i'm trying to yank the thing apart but one-
handed and pretty much blind to boot, given the location.  i can slip
in a screwdriver and push in the thingie that holds it together, but
that's not enough.  i thought of w-d or liquid wrench and letting it
soak for a bit, but before i get under there and try that (which i
can't do till the weekend anyway) i'm fishing for other brilliant
ideas.  i just don't want to crack and have to replace the other half.

ideas?  thanks in advance.