Took a little pleasure drive this evening but had the misfortune to
get stuck behind some oblivious tard in a dark green older Camry. This
guy barely got up to 40 MPH in a 50 MPH zone. Through his rear window
I could clearly see the problem: the little backlit color LCD of his
cell phone was clearly visible as he dialed a call and then launched
into a conversation. Just my luck, the right lane was also clogged
with a duckling who was pacing this guy, so passing was not an option.
After about a mile of this, I decided I'd had enough. We came up to a
shopping center, and I sped up to the posted speed limit and entered
the dedicated left turn lane. At about that time, Chatty Camry Driver
realizes that he, too, wants to turn left into this shopping center,
so he slows down even more and even puts the phone down from his ear
so he can look around. Unfortunately for him, I was right next to him
and there were other vehicles pressing him from behind, so he couldn't
get into the left turn lane for the shopping center; instead, he went
up to the intersection and made a U-turn.

If this had been a Simpson's cartoon, Neson Muntz would have walked up
to his car at precisely that moment and said:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/06/268_nelson1.gif

Pay more attention to your driving and less to your phone next time,
doofus!! :)