If you are tired of the high price of gas, there is a solution.  There
are crude oil pipelines underground all over the US.  Your job is to
locate them, and tap into them.  Once located, you dig down to the
pipe and use a cordless drill to tap them.  Once you have your hole
drilled, oil will shoot out of the pipe, so wear some old disposible
clothing.  Then you need to tap some threads and screw in a valve.
You will not need cutting oil to tap the hole.  Once the valve is
installed, attach a piece of strong oil resistant hose and fill the
dug hole so that it looks like the surrounding landscape.  Plant seed
to match the area and let it grow.  Keep your hose above grade and
fill large containers of this crude oil.  Take them home and set up a
small refinery in your basement or garage.  Plans can be found on the
web.  Once you have your refinery up and running, simply enjoy the
benefit of free gas.  
When extracting the crude oil from the hose, be sure to do it at night
when no one will see you, and out of sight of homes, roads, and
people.

Ray