Ain't that always the way? :-P

If you've got a freind who can give you a jump-start, and has some time
on his hands, have him hook up as for a jump, then just leave the
vehicles sitting there (with his running, preferably slightly "wound up"
(about 1800-2500 RPM) ) for an hour or so. That should get enough of a
charge into your battery to take most of the worry out of "just drive it
until it recharges". Not *ALL*, but *MOST*.

*VERY* bad, I'd say. Sounds like you don't have a battery anymore - it's
so flat you've actually got a pancake...

Look into getting somebody to jump you, or pull the battery and hoof it
down to the local Kragen's, Autozone, NAPA, etc. and ask 'em to put it
on the tester. (Assuming there's one open somewhere nearby)

What makes you think it would work on it's own?  If the battery is dead,
it isn't going to somehow take energy out of the air and charge itself.
--scott

Sounds like a very dead battery that may not come back at all. However
you have stumbled onto a critcal subject, "how we MEN accumulat
tools". The battery charger would be with you for years and could b
used many more times. Even if you discover that the battery cannot b
recharged, you will end up with a battery charger "and" and ne
battery. Comeon get into the do it yourself game.

imthemanbehindthedrums@hotmail.com Wrote:

--
BuntRVer

At this point, your best bet is going to be to replace the battery.  Jump
starting from another vehicle is going to be hard on THAT vehicle's
electronics if your battery is dead, or worse, shorted, so you could end up
with a bill for your friend's car on top of it all.
  In addition to that, cheapie jumper cables or old jumper cables have been
known to melt the insulation if the charge rate is high enough, which, by
the time you realize it, could have become a dead short from the hot lead to
the car chassis somewhere.

If you replace the battery and the old one turns out to still be good, you
might have an "emergency" battery to keep around and charged for the next
time something lke this happens to you or to a friend.  I'd much rather lend
a battery than use my own vehicle to start a car with a completely dead
battery, which it sounds like you might have.
  Depending on the age of your battery, it could either be a short ckt,
meaning dangerous to any vehicle's electrical sstem, or a very heavy
paperweight.
    Everytime a battery is discharged catastrophically its life becomes
shortened, in addition to normal wear & tear.  I'd call the battery a lost
cause if it's more than two years old, a maybe at one year.

In other words, your safest and least expensive bet right now is a new
battery.  Have it precharged, toss it into the car, hook it up, start the
car and go.  And put a big "Dead Battery - gone for Help" on the windshield
in the morning while you're out getting a new battery.  Often police will
give a person a break unless there's a reason to not believe the sign or
it's late afternoon.  I've had it work once.  Didn't work in the next city
though; got a ticket anyway (Chgo) that time.  I ran out of gas and took too
long getting back to the car - about an hour and a half<g>.  Jeez!

HTH
Pop`

Sears, Wal-mart, Kmart, Autozone, Pep Boys, Checker/Kragen/Shuck's
should have 10 amp automatic ones for $40-60.  For any charger rated
above 3A, you want automatic since it greatly reduces the likelihood of
damaging the battery by overcharging it.  Try www.shoplocal.com or the
web sites of such stores.

No.  Just be sure to connect the red clamp to the positive terminal,
the negative to the negative terminal, and do this before plugging in
the AC power because you don't want any sparks near the battery.  Also
unplug the AC power before disconnecting the charger from the battery.
If the charger has only a 2-wire AC cord, I strongly suggest plugging
it into a wall outlet protected by a GFCI for shock protection, but if
you don't have one a plug-in GFCI can be bought for about $15 (Home
Depot sells them next to their extension cords).   Don't try starting
the car with the battery charger connected or the charger may be
damaged.

HOLY sh.t!!!!

For that kind of price, that charger damn-well better charge batteries,
wax the car, wake me up with a bl.wj.b, immediately followed by a seven
course breakfast in bed! And do it all on nothing but sunshine and a bit
of water!

Or, if that wasn't clear enough: For the price you're getting set to lay
out on that thing, you could buy a new battery (reasonably decent brand,
even) and have enough left over for a twelve pack of beer, a pack of
smokes, and something to munch. You're looking to get robbed.

A decent, functional battery charger - nothing fancy, just a "gets it
done" rig - should run you $20 or less, and I *KNOW* Wal-mart is open
today, even if nothing else on the planet is. Heck, the charger I've got
sitting on the bench in the shop does everything - 70 amp booster, three
ranges of charge in 12 volts, three more in 6 volts, and a deep-cycle
discharge/recharge function. If I remember right, this particular unit
cost a whopping $31 and tax - And it's pretty heavily loaded with "bells
and whistles". A simple "connect the clips, plug it in, and switch it on
until the little needle over there on the left is in the green zone"
unit should be *FAR* less expensive.

No, but if you're paranoid, pull the *BLACK* cable off the battery post
before getting started. You *CAN* pull the battery out if so desired,
but it isn't required. (unless you've got "no space to get to what I
need to mess with" issues under the hood)

Do read the directions, but basically:
Hook the red clip to the battery post with the red cable on it and/or
"+" or "POS" next to it. Hook the black clip to the post that you took
the black cable off of. (Probably marked "-" or "NEG") Plug the unit in.
Flip the switch to a position that that says "12 volts". Walk away for
half an hour or so.
 

Nah, I'm a bilaterally symmetrical bag of protoplasm with delusions of
life :)