As I traveled from Maine to Florida, I spent a couple of days in New Jersey,
a state that prohibits "self-service" gasoline sales.  As I instructed the
technician to "fill it with regular", he asked if I would like the motor oil
checked.  Although I had checked it in the hotel parking lot earlier that
day, I figured I could not go wrong with the expert second opinion of a
highly trained expert automotive technician.  As I emerged from the
convenience store with a large coffee, a glazed donut, 32 oz sports drink,
chewing gum and a candy bar, I noticed the look of concern on the
technicians face.  "Sir", he said to me in a commanding voice.  "You are two
quarts low on motor oil".  My mood changed from happiness to shock in an
instant.  "Are you sure?  Can you please check it again" I stated.   As the
technician placed the dipstick in to get the reading, I noticed his thumb
was obstructing it from being fully submerged.  Sure enough he pulled it out
and there was barely a drop of oil on my dipstick.  I yanked the dipstick
from his hand, wiped it clean with a rag and aggressively placed it all the
way down and removed it.  Guess what:  It was FULL.  I gave the technician a
stern warning to NEVER engage in this type of behavior again!