<< it's nota  question of (non)contribution but rather just beeing
severly tired of life and a pointless existance...>>

The point of existence is existence. Not exactly, but close to it. Your
being here matters. What you do here matters. Not in the future, not in
some afterlife, but NOW. I fully understand being tired of... whatever.
I don't presume to know exactly what ails you, but it sounds to me like
you are posting from The Pit. I know that place. I've spent entirely
too much time there.

As to life being *pointless* what about that website? Is there no point
to that? Hasn't it mattered to quite a few people? Hasn't it
entertained and informed? Don't discount the importance of that. Since
here and now matters quite a bit, then being happy seems as good a
point as any.

So what can be done to help you be happy?

C.

Closing remarks by Winston Churchill, at his school, Harrow, 1941...
"But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period--I am
addressing myself to the School--surely from this period of ten months, this
is the lesson:

 Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing,
great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of
honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently
overwhelming might of the enemy.

We stood all alone a year ago, and to many countries it seemed that our
account was closed, we were finished. All this tradition of ours, our songs,
our School history, this part of the history of this country, were gone and
finished and liquidated.

Very different is the mood today. Britain, other nations thought, had drawn
a sponge across her slate. But instead our country stood in the gap. There
was no flinching and no thought of giving in; and by what seemed almost a
miracle to those outside these Islands, though we ourselves never doubted
it, we now find ourselves in a position where I say that we can be sure that
we have only to persevere to conquer.

You sang here a verse of a School Song: you sang that extra verse written in
my honor, which I was very greatly complimented by and which you have
repeated today. But there is one word in it I want to alter - I wanted to do
so last year, but I did not venture to. It is the line: "Not less we praise
in darker days."

I have obtained the Head Master's permission to alter darker to sterner.
"Not less we praise in sterner days."

Do not let us speak of darker days: let us speak rather of sterner days.
These are not dark days; these are great days--the greatest days our country
has ever lived; and we must all thank God that we have been allowed, each of
us according to our stations, to play a part in making these days memorable
in the history of our race."

Never give in.

http://www.mwscomp.com/sounds/mp3/galaxy.mp3

Whenever life gets you down,
And things seem hard or tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough...

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.

The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the "Milky Way".

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.

We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

Well, granted, if Mikal were the only reason to stick around there'd be
several folks here hanging themselves...

I recall that you had some lousy health news a good while ago, and I
remember the last time your computer was failing as well. Why? Because
I care about your well-being. Your computer may very well crash for
awhile, but there's no need to log out for good. You can always hit up
a library or something similar to gain access to the internet. Perhaps
an acquaintance or relative may allow you to utilize their computer
occasionally. As for your physical health, well, all I can do is wish
you the very best in that regard. I can add you to the prayer list,
which may or may not mean much to you, but it means something to me.
Life is what you make it; you're in the driver's seat regarding your
attitude. You can't wish your health problems away, but you can choose
whether you want to wallow in the depths or not.

Don't f.cking wallow until the time comes.

You come across as a very gentle soul, and over the years I've seen
your fragility and your strength. Use your strength now.

Looking at your last post defending Mike and C., I see you know exactly
what I'm talking about.

You aren't going anywhere until you have to. Why? Because you know
better.

We'll cherish your time here and then await your return, no "final
goodbye" is necessary right now, Thomas.

-Matt- "..."