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Car Forum / Ferrari Cars / November 2004Ferraris are EVIL, they are the automobiles of SATAN ! ! !
Ferraris are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. If you like Ferraris, you will lose your soul to be damned for eternal torment in hell.Demons and devils will feast on your soul for all eternity. So stop driving them now to save your soul. Or the holy inquisition will come for you and burn your flesh to save your soul, because the devil must not collect more souls or nobody can prevent Armageddon. Ferraris are evil, driving them is BLASPHEMY , only heretics and witches like Ferraris.And heretics and witches shall BURN ! Ferraris were produced by SATAN in Hell's Kitchen ! ! ! > Ferraris are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to > collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Ferraris were produced by SATAN in Hell's Kitchen ! ! ! What a f.cking worm! You are probably the biggest idiot to ever bait this group! Please continue - my mental edge requires a fresh whetstone every few months, and you are a wonderful candidate!! Tell you what, "Hans" - I've recently heard that licking my nut sack is the ANTITHESIS TO EVIL!! Isn't that timely and excellent for you? A few little nips at my sweaty, greasy, haven't-showered-in-four-days scrotum, and YOU TOO can be absolved of all evil - you will NEVER AGAIN have to find a locus for your fevered, heretical, and certainly damning thoughts! You will be FREE of EVIL and able to start a new life searching for GOOD. There is good in all make of automobile, "Hans", but in Ferrari, the good is molto, molto buono! By the way, Luca agrees with all of my sentiments, and you wouldn't think HE is Satan, would you? He's going to be the prime minister of Italy, for Mephistopheles's sake. And Hans, I promise to hold my breath so they stay hanging low. Even if you bite. But it better be no more than a nibble, or all my goodness fades. MC  Signature"Garcon!! More lithium!" >> Ferraris are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to >> collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >And Hans, I promise to hold my breath so they stay hanging low. Even if >you bite. But it better be no more than a nibble, or all my goodness fades. ...I told you nothing good would come from coddling the 'vette boys. <<Tell you what, "Hans" - I've recently heard that licking my nut sack is the ANTITHESIS TO EVIL!! Isn't that timely and excellent for you? A few little nips at my sweaty, greasy, haven't-showered-in-four-days scrotum>> My eyes! Gods, my EYES!!! C. > Ferraris are EVIL, yadda yadda yadda ! ! ! By the way, Hans - I am the INCARNATE of EVIL. I would've thought we'd met by now, but apparently you're just another pretender to the throne. You think you can call out the forces of evil, under protection from your god? I AM EVIL INCARNATE - HEAR ME. I spread my dripping, scaly, flame red wings over multitudes of scum like you every day, and reduce them to a quivering maggot pile. Fearing me isn't even an option here - I've already got you measured for a funeral suit, Hans. I AM SATAN. SUCKLE AT MY SEARING LOINS, or be burnt from my gaze by a column of nuclear torch-fire Godzilla couldn't touch on his best day, singing your weak man-flesh like so much tissue paper. MC Signature"Garcon!! More lithium!" > singing your weak man-flesh like so much tissue > paper. > > MC That's "singeing", you pathetic and weak quadriped. Even I trip over my own words in my haste to level you from my pitiful Dell Satanic 6969 keyboard. MC Signature"Garcon!! More lithium!" > Ferraris are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to > collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Ferraris were produced by SATAN in Hell's Kitchen ! ! ! After much thought down here in my luxury Hades condominium, and a little goading from my succubus, I've decided YOU ARE CORRECT! Going with your argument, I've ordered a 2005 575M, Titanio, with the Handling GTC option. There will be non-factory side-mounted flamethrowers, and I did go ahead with the Scuderia shields because I think that the Maranello platform has been raced more than enough to justify them, BUT ... I'm mostly a factory-stock kind of arch-demon, so I don't go for those flashy MC Hammer-style accoutrements. No wings on my bird of prey, no sir. I think I'll use it first on my trip to strip your mortal soul to tattered bloody shreds. Let me know what you think of it before you descend into horrific, infinite screaming agony. You da man! MC Signature"Garcon!! More lithium!" >Ferraris are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to >collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. No, you don't understand. Ferrari's are the worlds finest automobiles. >If you like Ferraris, you will lose your soul to be damned >for eternal torment in hell. No, silly, you still don't get it. If you like Porsches you will be damned and will loose your soul. >Demons and devils will feast on your soul >for all eternity. Is that possible? I thought a soul is sort of meta-physical. Can you actually feast on a soul? >So stop driving them now to save your soul. Mr. Spock says that the above statement is purely illogical. >Or the holy inquisition will come for you and burn your flesh to save >your soul, because the devil must not collect more souls or nobody can >prevent Armageddon. Right, like they did when they burned all those innocent women who they thought were witches. >Ferraris are evil, No, they are usually red. >driving them is BLASPHEMY , Only if you cut someone off or give them the one finger solute. >only heretics and >witches like Ferraris. No. Trolls love Ferraris also. But since they are Trolls and will never obtain one, they tend to post stupid messages against Ferraris in an attempt to deflect their sense of loss, jealousy and failure towards others. >And heretics and witches shall BURN ! What about vampires and those little gnomes from the mid-70's made for TV movie "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark"? Will they burn too? >Ferraris were produced by SATAN in Hell's Kitchen ! ! ! There aren't any auto manufacturers in Hell's Kitchen. It's mostly tenanment housing. Over the last 10 years is being yup-if-ied and a lot of the older buildings are being renovated. Come to NYC, and I'll show you......... Phil ::Who has an affection for vampires and hope they don't burn! <<Is that possible? I thought a soul is sort of meta-physical. Can you actually feast on a soul?>> Demons and devils being rather metaphysical themselves, what else are they supposed to eat? <<Right, like they did when they burned all those innocent women who they thought were witches.>> Yeah, the real witches were drinking mead and looking forward to the day when they could drive Ferraris. <<What about vampires and those little gnomes from the mid-70's made for TV movie "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark"?>> Excellent movie. So, what would Jesus drive? C. ><<Is that possible? I thought a soul is sort of meta-physical. Can you >actually feast on a soul?>> [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > >So, what would Jesus drive? ..."God drives an Alfa". > So, what would Jesus drive? Jesus drives a '57 Cadillac. It needs paint. I see him in Santa Ana sometimes. MC Signature"Garcon!! More lithium!" <<Jesus drives a '57 Cadillac.>> We've actually got a monstrous, dusty pink, '58 Cadillac convertible for sale here. Any takers? C. :::who wonders why auction houses don't offer complimentary cocktails, since drunk buyers clearly have no sense::: ><<What about vampires and those little gnomes from the mid-70's made for TV >movie "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark"?>> > >Excellent movie. Still scares me. >So, what would Jesus drive? I think he would drive a Ferrari. Reasons: - Like when he threw the money changers out of the temple, he would want to bring attention to himself. - Like when he road into town on the donkey thereby fulfilling the prophecy, he would want to arrive in style. - According to the movie 'Bruce Almighty', with God powers you can drive a McLaren (or was it a Saleen). So I guess to be recognized as God's Son, he wouldn't want to drive the same thing, but something more rebellious and suited to his younger age. - Like when he had to carry the cross to his crusification and he kept falling over - do I see a resemblance here to the need for adhereing to a regiment of regular service. - When he arose to heaven on a chariot....chariots are stored in stables when not in use......Scuderia means stable. See the whole Ferrari relationship here? - He wouldn't dare be caught in a Porsche - too pagan. Besides, Pilot was clearly a Porsche guy. - Anything from the US or PacRim just wouldn't appeal to the Romans. - MB, Audi or VW wouldn't appeal to the Jews for obvious reasons. - No Fiats available - factory workers were on strike. They wanted more time off in-between painting temple ceilings. - Alfas were too small - by all appearances, Jesus was a tall guy. - Wouldn't drive a Lambo - Jesus is a sensible guy - 8 cyclinders only. Gives you more than enough power than needed, and doesn't burn as much gas as a 12 banger. Makes perfect sense to me. Of course, this is after MC poured me a number of glasses of wine. Phil :: Wasn't His last drink wine.......hmmmm. <<- He wouldn't dare be caught in a Porsche - too pagan.>> I must protest! I don't know a single Pagan who drives a Porch. C. ><<- He wouldn't dare be caught in a Porsche - too pagan.>> > >I must protest! I don't know a single Pagan who drives a Porch. > >C. Sorry for the genarlization - I didn't mean all Pagans drive porchs. And I especially didn't mean the one Pagan who I am quite fond of. Phil <<Sorry for the genarlization - I didn't mean all Pagans drive porchs.>> Well, you know, generally I'm not very fond of generalizations. Except that Porches suck. <g> <<And I especially didn't mean the one Pagan who I am quite fond of.>> Yay, me! C. ><<Sorry for the genarlization - I didn't mean all Pagans drive porchs.>> >Well, you know, generally I'm not very fond of generalizations. Except that >Porches suck. <g> Someone could give me a 1973 911 2.7 RS, and I wouldn't complain. (...Unless I had to wear "The Jacket", or constantly flash the key fob, as they are so eager to do.) > ><<Sorry for the genarlization - I didn't mean all Pagans drive porchs.>> > >Well, you know, generally I'm not very fond of generalizations. Except that [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > (...Unless I had to wear "The Jacket", or constantly flash the key > fob, as they are so eager to do.) For awhile, I had "The Jacket"... I'm not proud of it. -Matt- "..." > - According to the movie 'Bruce Almighty', with God powers you can > drive a McLaren (or was it a Saleen). Saleen. I got shouted down by some idiot when I swore it was a Diablo. I deserved it. > Makes perfect sense to me. Of course, this is after MC poured me a > number of glasses of wine. Something I do quite well. > :: Wasn't His last drink wine.......hmmmm. No - it was vinegar on a sponge, and some bitter herbs. What a shitty deal that was. MC Signature"Garcon!! More lithium!" > > - According to the movie 'Bruce Almighty', with God powers you can > > drive a McLaren (or was it a Saleen). [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > No - it was vinegar on a sponge, and some bitter herbs. What a shitty > deal that was. I thought he had some wine mixed with myrrh too. If so, that was an added insult, as myrrh has laxative properties... -Matt- "Gold, frankincense, ummm, what's with the myrrh?" >> - According to the movie 'Bruce Almighty', with God powers you can >> drive a McLaren (or was it a Saleen). > >Saleen. I got shouted down by some idiot when I swore it was a Diablo. > I deserved it. Yes... Yes you did... (As much as Diablii are not my cup of grappa.) This issue has been long been decided by authorities too humbling to name: "God drives an Alfa". <<only heretics and witches like Ferraris.>> Yes, we do. So, if the wacky Xians are going to start damning Ferraris and Ferrari owners, does that mean more for me? What with my being damned already, seems only fair for me to save my good friends from a similar fate. Ship'em this way, boys! C. >Ferraris are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to >collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >Ferraris were produced by SATAN in Hell's Kitchen ! ! ! Meanwhile, in alt.autos.lamborghini... >Lamborghinis are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to >collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >Lamborghinis were produced by SATAN in Hell's Kitchen ! ! ! Well... Which is it, you twisted fruit-cake? Is Satan's throne in Modena or Sant' Agata? (Wolfsberg, obviously: None but Satan could have conjured the Gallardo.) > (Wolfsberg, obviously: None but Satan could have conjured the > Gallardo.) I have it on strong authority that Satan drives a T-90S and is currently on his way to Chechnya. MC SignatureI rode a tank Held a general’s rank When the blitzkrieg raged And the bodies stank >Meanwhile, in alt.autos.lamborghini... > >>Lamborghinis are EVIL, they are the work of the devil, made to >>collect your souls and to turn you into brainless slaves of hell. <schnippo> >Well... Which is it, you twisted fruit-cake? > >Is Satan's throne in Modena or Sant' Agata? Or Japan, or Germany or... Check out the dozens of other places this little willy did his mail-merged rant to. HTH, HAND, etc. SignatureDan Drake >>Meanwhile, in alt.autos.lamborghini... >> [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > HTH, HAND, etc. C'mon now .... without peckerwoods like him around, I'd be out of a job! MC SignatureAnd if the dam breaks open many years too soon And if there is no room upon the hill And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too I'll see you on the dark side of the moon >C'mon now .... without peckerwoods like him around, I'd be out of a job! My apologies. Let's return to normal programming, whatever that is. SignatureDan Drake >>C'mon now .... without peckerwoods like him around, I'd be out of a job! > >My apologies. Let's return to normal programming, whatever that is. "GILLIGAN!!!"... |
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