(Subtitled: What is about eBay that brings out the MC Ogre?)

<steps up on soapbox>

No wonder foreigners laugh at us so much.  As a whole, we are a nation
of infinitely stupid, white trash sub-humans.  Every time I read
something like this I want to puke.  I really wish I could afford to
live somewhere else.  This is f.cking Gimme
Gimme/Money-Grabbing/Consumerism Rules/No-Education-Redneck Heaven.
Sometimes eBay itself makes me puke, even as I'm bidding on some nice
sunglasses or an obscure Cibo Matto boot.  It is so full of fucktard
opportunists who would put their mother up for bid if they thought they
could get something for her.

Never mind that the item in question this time is one our favorite
abominable jokes, the just-like-Sonny Crocket-drove-on-Miami Vice
"Daytona Spider Convertable".  It's how little regard the seller has for
his own ability to express himself that leaves me stunned and amazed,
and ashamed.

There are some other interesting things to see there, in the general
listing, but a lot of it is absolute sh.t that makes me disgusted to be
an American.

C'mon, some of you lurkers who never say a word, or you others who
apparently get such a laugh out of us that you repost AAF on your web
sites - let's hear it!  All you LL-Bean-wearing, in-the-woods-living,
smug-bastard flag-wavers with more kids than you need!  You "I'm going
to put yet another ribbon on my Kia Sedona so I can Support Our Troops,
because John next door put one on his Toyota Siena minivan", sheltered,
civilized-but-thoroughly-uneducated amassers of goods sleepwalking
through your lives - with more kids than you need!  You
colored-rubber-bracelet-wearing sheep!  Tell me why I'm wrong!   Tell me
to get the f.ck out!  Tell me why you think it's so great to be an
American when we're really one of the great destroyers on this planet,
led by a madman who is plainly committed to continually putting our own
citizens in danger because of his bellicosity and yet, at the same time,
his cowardice.  Let's go, you who are willing to put one cheating,
stealing idiot in office after another, all the while saying we have the
best political system in the world!  ENGAGE!

Or, don't engage.  Give something back for awhile instead of
concentrating on the next Viking range you're going to put in your new
kitchen at the new house in Irvine.  Get involved in some activism, like
I do, in my case against illegal immigration.  Do some volunteer work,
and I mean several hours per week instead of per month.  I'm lucky
enough to be able to work 20 hours a week at an animal shelter, trying
to give peace and love to cats who were thrown into the street by
various examples of the above.  Give up a couple of Macanudos or
Starbucks and instead donate to a mission or a rescue shelter.  Find a
cause and work with it.  Practice birth control or get yourself tied
off.  Get to know the kids you have a little better, so you don't have
to do so when they're in jail.  Put your f.cking money where your mouth is!

And buy a goddamned dictionary!  You can get one at a thrift store for a
buck.  Loser.

<steps down from soapbox, ducking thrown free-range brown eggs, blood
oranges, Dixie beer bottles and Skoal cans>

M

Boy, that felt really good!!  I mean, you can only talk about Ferraris
for so long.

That'll get us some new posters ...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/FERRARI-DAYTONA-SPIDER-CONVERTABLE_W0QQitemZ45663
34347QQcategoryZ6212QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

http://motors.listings.ebay.com/Passenger-Vehicles_Ferrari_W0QQfcclZ1QQfclZ3QQfr
omZR4QQfrppZ50QQfsooZ1QQfsopZ9QQftZ1QQsacatZ6211QQsocmdZListingItemListQQsotrZ1