Jesus! Your a game man, Blake.

I leave my shed in a mess. That was, SWMBO does not walk in, too filthy

Speaking of Women, I got this joke today and thought it was rather good

~~~~~~~~
Power Outage During a Mammogram

I actually kept my mammogram appointment.

I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled
from ear to ear,
tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step
into this
room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown.
Everything clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda . try decaf. This ain't
rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine.
It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less
than 60 seconds  Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and
everything nice....it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted
over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the
left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad
so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use
the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob
wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard, then
felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! "What?" I yelled.
Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag."

Belinda headed for the door.

Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.  
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy ... the door's wide
open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt
backkkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly
how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked
and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed
between glass! After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type
greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I
knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
possible. Uh, yes, yes I did thanks." You bet, take care" Bubba
replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been
standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and
making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said.
"Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally
forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
between the clamps...

news:TMFke.175$t74.6279@nnrp1.ozemail.com.au...

Good idea. Or you could involve her in the restoration. Perhaps she feels
left out. Give her a spanner. Set her to work. Then you can go to the pub.

Androo

I think you might have a point. I have just got some tickets for a tour of
the Browns Lane Factory and I'll take her for some fish and chips
afterwards - Who said romance is dead.

Stu

Bloody Hell, you can't set a precedent like that ! If she likes it, she'll
want more, do it twice and it becomes the norm. Then where will you go ?.
Buy some earplugs, learn to nod and repeat 'yes dear' sympathetically or go
out with the lads, come home the worse for wear, act exceedingly amorously
and QED - your XJS becomes her best friend from that moment on.

I hope !!!!!!!!!!!!!

John