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Car Forum / Jaguar Cars / March 2008

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The New Jaguar: An Open Letter to Jaguar

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giveitawhril2008@gmail.com - 19 Mar 2008 03:18 GMT
Well, I have a propensity to post before I learn all I should, but
here goes....

I just saw the ad for, then went to the Jaguar site for, the new
Jaguar. It looks to be the same size (body length, etc.) as the
typical Jap-car-sized sedan these days, and all models apparently have
4.x liter V8s. As opposed to, you know, V12s and such in the good old
days?
Well here is an open and/or private letter to Jaguar that I WOULD send
if I had researched this properly and had the gaul to talk like this:

"
To the Managers at Jaguar:

The New Jag may have an impressive something or other but it looks
like my Impala (don't get me wrong: I LOVE my Impala!) and like every
other sedan on the road these days. This is NOT your fault. It is due
to the fact that the U.S. gov't., like the U.K. gov't and probably
most others, is now run by a bunch of anal retentive socialist weenies
who want to keep big and powerful cars off the road. Mind you, there
was that not-street-legal-in-the-US Jag some years ago that had, I
think, a V12 and a see-through glass (or acrylic) hood that cost about
a million dollars. I had dreams of driving that on some highway across
the Empty Quarter in Saudi Arabia years ago, and opening her up. That
was before I sufficiently fully realized that Saudi Arabia is run by a
bunch of cocksucking ho's  who need to all have their heads blown off.
Anyway, I told my buddies I was going to spend my first million on
that car.

WELL: There MAY be a solution! Not to the US/UK/Euro/Global WEENIE-
ISM, nor to Saudi Buttfucking Cocksucking Assholism, but to JAG' s
problem! I suggest: Jag builds a SPORT UTILITY VEHICLE with a 24-
cylinder engine that does 225+ (mph)! You, know a LUXURY SPORTS SUV!
In the Jag tradition!

Regards,

Yo

"
Turenne - 19 Mar 2008 23:30 GMT
Though I agree with you to some extent about the new Jag, I have to
say that it is not in the Jaguar tradition to build sport SUVs, and
long may it remain so.
As far as 'Saudi Buttfucking Cocksucking Assholism;' I couldn't agree
with you more....!

Richard L
 
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