When you have two catatonic converters before the exhaust pipes split;
Jaguar

When you are on your knees praying at emissions testing;
Jaguar

When you do the "Warning Light Hat Trick", Oil, Coolant, and Battery at a
traffic light (the bulb warning light doesn't count);
Jaguar

When your car is searched driving onto a government facility, and they find
the jury-rigged switch in the ashtray, that controls your heating and
cooling servo and they reach for their weapons;
Jaguar

When you go to check your carbon canister and you find that the bracket has
rusted away and the canister is gone;
Jaguar

You can determine that you only have 1 gallon of gas left because the fuel
gauge just went lower than the oil pressure;
Jaguar

When you park at work and you can tell where you had parked the day before,
because there's a pile of kitty litter absorbent there;
Jaguar

When one gas tank leaks, but only in the winter;
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When you have to reset your oxygen sensor warning light, from behind a
secret panel in the trunk;
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When you never can tell just how many headlights you are going to have
working at any given time;
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When someone backs out of a parking space and broadsides you, and the only
damage is to their car;
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When you instinctively know just how much throttle to use the minimize the
rod knock;
Jaguar

While on the highway you marvel that how quiet the ride is and all you can
hear are relays clicking for no apparent reason;
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When it drives just as well with two spark plug wires reversed, as it does
when they are correctly placed;
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When you put the car up for sale, at a fraction of what you paid for it,
which is a fraction of what the previous two owners paid for it;
Jaguar

When you realize that when the old beast is sold, you may never drive a
finer highway car again;
Jaguar

Garry Elmer
Mystic, CT