Are you suggesting we kill off the older guys?

Leon

Send 'em this:

Dear Friend(s),

Tonight I got yet another e-mail from someone I do not know and with
all the viruses happening now I am leery to open them. Who is this
Lenniem anyway??? As I am now peaking at my "True Bitch" stage of life
I would like to share a letter a friend recently sent to someone (no
not me). I think she got to the point rather well don't you?

It says:
Look at all the email addresses you FORWARDED when you sent me this...
I have NO IDEA who these people are...and I SURE don't want MY email
address being sent out to hundreds of people I don't even know... Just
as I would NOT  give out your phone number to strangers, NEITHER DO I
WANT MY EMAIL ADDRESS SENT OUT TO STRANGERS!!!! When and IF I do
forward emails, I DELETE ALL THE PREVIOUS Email addys... for YOUR
PROTECTION and for  MINE!!!

PLEASE don't forward my email address... TO ANYONE!!

If you absolutely MUST send out bulk emailings, PLEASE use the BCC line
--
BLIND CARBON COPY. No one can see all the email addresses you put in
this line. The computer you save and protect could be your own!

READ ON!!!

1. Big companies simply don't do business via chain letters. Bill Gates
is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation.
There is no baby food company issuing class action checks. Honda Motors
is not giving away cars with some pyramid scheme. Procter and Gamble is
not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not satanic. MTV
will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most
people.

You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true."
Furthermore, just because someone said in a message, four generations
back, that we checked it out and it's "legit" does not actually make it
true.

(NOTE from XS11E, Every single email forwarded to me claiming to have
been checked by Snopes has turned out to be pure BS as per Snopes!)

2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in
a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened
to their cousin. If you are hell bent on believing the kidney theft
ring stories, see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm

And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
requests that actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell
their stories. None have. That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your
friend's cousin.

3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if
they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:

http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html

Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel
free to pass the recipe on.

4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that
went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this
information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?

5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever,
ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first
confirm that it comes from an actual site of an actual company that
actually deals with viruses. Try: http://www.norton.com 

And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.

And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to
download... ya know, like, a FILE!

6. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes
headlights at another car driving at night without lights.

7. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off
the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and
don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web
browser since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus
Cookie Recipe anyway.

8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message  
from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of
headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months.
It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line
either.  Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably
already seen it.

9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not
dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone
to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a
"little either.

10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine
work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in
response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name
and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.

11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything
that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," then
something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.

12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and NEA funding
are still vulnerable to attack (although not at the present time) but
forwarding an e-mail won't help either cause in the least. If you want
to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch
with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. As a general rule, e-mail
"signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power
to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.

(P.S.: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long
distance companies to charge you for using the Internet.)

Bottom Line . . . composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is  
as easy as writing on the walls of a public rest room. Don't
automatically believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME it's false,
unless there is proof that it's true.

Well, at least I was finally the 'peep' for you in this case.

Don't worry, we'll let you in. ;-)

One person was actually asking me about the Nigerian lottery scam.
I said that of course it worked, because that was how I bought my
mansion and my vast car collection.

Pat