Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
  then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.

Sudden Infant Death Soup

SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!

SIDS victim, cleaned
? cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
? stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)

Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
  so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
  (2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
  serve piping with hot bread and butter.

Offspring Rolls

Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(o

boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
  (2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
  serve piping with hot bread and butter.

Offspring Rolls

Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp).
Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with
a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue,
as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...

2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten

Make the stuffing:
  Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
     then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
  Stir-fry the vegetables.
  Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
  De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
  Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
  Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
     then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
  2 hours
Wrap the rolls:  
  Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly -
     corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
     wrap till remaining corner is left.
  Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
  a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:  
  325? if using egg

Roast Leg of Amputee

By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch
it is in any way diseased. But sometimes surgeons make mistakes,
and if a healthy young limb is at hand, then don?t hesitate to cook
it to perfection!

1 high quality limb, rack, or roast
Potatoes, carrot
Oil
celery
onions
green onions
parsley
garlic
salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stock

Marinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts).
Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions,
  and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
  celery, green onions, and parsley.
Place roast on top with fat side up.
Place uncovered in 500? oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325?.
Bake till medium rare (150?) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
  place the slices in the au jus.

Bisque ? l?Enfant

Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
lobster will work just as well, however t

and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
  celery, green onions, and parsley.
Place roast on top with fat side up.
Place uncovered in 500? oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325?.
Bake till medium rare (150?) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
  place the slices in the au jus.

Bisque ? l?Enfant

Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically
made with crawfish).

Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells;
  make patties if shell or head is not available
  (such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 sticks butter
3 tablespoons oil

First stuff the heads, or make the patties (see index)
  then fry or bake.  
Set aside to drain on paper towels.
Make a roux with butter, oil and flour,
  brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and
  allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish,
  lobster, long piglet, or what have you.
Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least
  15 minutes more.
Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!

Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf -
or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.

8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)

Boil the cabbag

-
     corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
     wrap till remaining corner is left.
  Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
  a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:  
  325? if using egg roll wraps, 350? for spring roll wraps.
  Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.

Lemon Neonate

Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human,
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...

4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper

Season and saut? the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
  top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...

Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs

If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.

1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
? cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
peppe

if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper

Season and saut? the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
  top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...

Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs

If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.

1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
? cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, etc.
Tomato gravy (see index)
Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta

Mix the ground meats together i

Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.

Newborn Parmesan

This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...

6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Seasoned bread crumbs  mixed with  
  parmesan
  romano
  salt
  pepper
  oregano
  garlic powder
  chopped parsley
Flour
eggwash (eggs and milk)
Peanut oil for frying.

Pound the cutlets.
Dredge in flour, eggs, then the bread crumb mixture.
Fry till golden brown in 350? peanut oil.
In a baking pan, place a layer of gravy,
  then one of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Another layer each of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Then bake at 350? for 45 minutes.
Serve on hot pasta with romano cheese.

Southern Fried Small-fry

Tastes like fried chicken, which works just as well.
In fact you may want to practice cutting up whole chickens
for frying before you go for the real thing.
Whole chicken is much more efficient and inexpensive than buying pieces.

1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying

Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season the meat liberally, and marinate for several hours.
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
  drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
  then deep fry in hot oil (350?) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.

Miscarriage with Mustard Greens

Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with m

a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
     then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
  Stir-fry the vegetables.
  Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
  De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
  Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
  Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
     then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
  2 hours
Wrap the rolls:  
  Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly -
     corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
     wrap till remaining corner is left.
  Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
  a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:  
  325? if using egg roll wraps, 350? for spring roll wraps.
  Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.

Lemon Neonate

Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human,
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...

4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper

Season and saut? the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sau

the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...

2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten

Make the stuffing:
  Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
     then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
  Stir-fry the vegetables.
  Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
  De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
  Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
  Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
     then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
  2 hours
Wrap the rol

do not pre-boil).

Pie crust (see index)
Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed
Onions, bell pepper, celery
? cup wine
Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed

Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section
  of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you
  will need one for the top also).
Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones.
Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth.
Brown the onions, peppers and celery.
Add the meat then season, continue browning.
De-glaze with sherry, add the reduced broth.
Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes.
Allow to cool slightly.
Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy,
  reduce oven to 325.
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
  then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.

Sudden Infant Death Soup

SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!

SIDS victim, cleaned
? cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
? stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)

Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
  so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
  (2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
  serve piping with hot bread and butter.

I know!!!!!  I know!!!!!

Looks like fall fo 2006
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Preview

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What We Know: Mercedes is hard at work revamping its flagship sedan in
the face of stiff competition from Audi, BMW and Maserati. With its
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knows that this new sedan has to be perfect. Expect to see slightly
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The engine lineup will be roughly similar as well, with a range of V8s
and V12s powering the lineup. As you would expect, the interior will
boast all the latest features including a fully revamped Command
system, a multipanel glass roof similar to the Maybach and Bluetooth
phone connectivity. Production is expected to begin in the fall of
2005

Check with mbspy.com

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical
  cords so they won?t be tough).
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
  then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;
  allow to sit for a few minutes.
Saut? in butter and olive oil until golden brown,
  about 6 minutes on each side.

Shish Kababes

As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!

High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tende

5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten

Make the stuffing:
  Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
     then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
  Stir-fry the vegetables.
  Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
  De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
  Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
  Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
     then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
  2 hours
Wrap the rolls:  
  Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly -
     corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
     wrap till remaining corner is left.
  Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
  a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:  
  325? if using egg roll wraps, 350? for spring roll wraps.
  Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.

Lemon Neonate

Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you

2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.

Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
  when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.

Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner

If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue;
you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.

1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...)
1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables
  (carrots, potatoes, turnips, cauliflower, cabbage...)
Bell pepper
onions
garlic
ginger
salt pepper, etc.  
Olive oil
butter

Brown the meat and some chopped onions, peppers, and garilic in olive oil,
  place in baking dish, layer with vegetables seasoning and butter.
Bake at 325? for 30 - 45 minutes.
Serve with hot dinner rolls, fruit salad and sparkling water.

B?b? Buffet 1

Show off with whole roasted children replete with apples in mouths -
and babies? heads stuffed with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a
hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.

Some suggestions

Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham,
Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad
Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants
Apple cake with rum sauce,

human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
? cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, etc.
Tomato gravy (see index)
Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta

Mix the ground meats together in a large bowl,
  then mix each of the other ingredients.
Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist
  (there should be one lying around for reference).
Bake at 400?for about 25 minutes -
  or you could fry them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.

Newborn Parmesan

This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...

6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Seasoned bread crumbs  mixed with  
  parmesan
  romano
  salt
  pepper
  oregano
  garlic powder
  chopped parsley
Flour
eggwash (eggs and milk)
Peanut oil for frying.

Pound the cutlets.
Dredge in flour, eggs, then the bread crumb mixture.
Fry till golden brown in 350? peanut oil.
In a baking pan, place a layer of gravy,
  then one of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Another layer each of meat, gravy, a

on a wire rack.
Bake uncovered in 250? oven for 1? hours.
When browned, remove and glaze,
  return to oven and bake 20 minutes more to form a glaze.
Cut ribs into individual pieces and serve with extra sauce.

Fresh Sausage

If it becomes necessary to hide the fact that you are eating
human babies, this is the perfect solution.
But if you are still paranoid, you can substitute pork butt.

5 lb. lean chuck roast
3 lb. prime baby butt
2 tablespoons each:
  salt
  black, white and cayenne peppers
  celery salt
  garlic powder
  parsley flakes
  brown sugar
1 teaspoon sage
2 onions
6 cloves garlic
bunch green onions, chopped

Cut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces
  that will fit in the grinder.
Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate.
Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again.
Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.

Stillborn Stew

By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh,
but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery,
or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).

1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
? cup vegetable oil
2 large onions
bell pepper
celery
garlic
? cup red wine
3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots

This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy,
thus it does not have to be thickened.
Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside.
Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic.
De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well.
Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and
  seasoning as necessary.
After at least half an hour, add the

use sherry;
red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).

Pie crust (see index)
Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed
Onions, bell pepper, celery
? cup wine
Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed

Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section
  of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you
  will need one for the top also).
Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones.
Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth.
Brown the onions, peppers and celery.
Add the meat then season, continue browning.
De-glaze with sherry, add the reduced broth.
Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes.
Allow to cool slightly.
Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy,
  reduce oven to 325.
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
  then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.

Sudden Infant Death Soup

SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!

SIDS victim, cleaned
? cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
? stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)

Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.

Death Soup

SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!

SIDS victim, cleaned
? cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
? stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)

Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
  so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
  (2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
  serve piping with hot bread and butter.

Offspring Rolls

Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp).
Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with
a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue,
as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...

2 cups finely chopped very y

of protein.

2 human baby rib racks
3 cups barbecue sauce or honey glaze (see index)
Salt
black pepper
white pepper
paprika

Remove the silverskin by loosening from the edges,
  then stripping off.
Season generously, rubbing the mixture into the baby?s flesh.
Place 1 quart water in a baking pan, the meat on a wire rack.
Bake uncovered in 250? oven for 1? hours.
When browned, remove and glaze,
  return to oven and bake 20 minutes more to form a glaze.
Cut ribs into individual pieces and serve with extra sauce.

Fresh Sausage

If it becomes necessary to hide the fact that you are eating
human babies, this is the perfect solution.
But if you are still paranoid, you can substitute pork butt.

5 lb. lean chuck roast
3 lb. prime baby butt
2 tablespoons each:
  salt
  black, white and cayenne peppers
  celery salt
  garlic powder
  parsley flakes
  brown sugar
1 teaspoon sage
2 onions
6 cloves garlic
bunch green onions, chopped

Cut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces
  that will fit in the grinder.
Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate.
Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again.
Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.

Stillborn Stew

By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh

then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.

Sudden Infant Death Soup

SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!

SIDS victim, cleaned
? cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
? stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)

Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
  so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
  (2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
  serve piping with hot bread and butter.

Offspring Rolls

Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course thi

parsley
Flour
eggwash (eggs and milk)
Peanut oil for frying.

Pound the cutlets.
Dredge in flour, eggs, then the bread crumb mixture.
Fry till golden brown in 350? peanut oil.
In a baking pan, place a layer of gravy,
  then one of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Another layer each of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Then bake at 350? for 45 minutes.
Serve on hot pasta with romano cheese.

Southern Fried Small-fry

Tastes like fried chicken, which works just as well.
In fact you may want to practice cutting up whole chickens
for frying before you go for the real thing.
Whole chicken is much more efficient and inexpensive than buying pieces.

1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying

Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season the meat liberally, and marinate for several hours.
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
  drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
  then deep fry in hot oil (350?) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.

Miscarriage with Mustard Greens

Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every day, don?t
be afraid to alter any dish to vegetarian tastes.

1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.

Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which shou

Leviticus 26:29

Roast Child with Cornbread Stuffing

Turkey may be substituted for this classic holiday feast.
Although time consuming, this dish seems to take longer than it actually does;
as the entire house is filled with such a heavenly aroma,
the waiting becomes almost unbearable.

1 whole child, cleaned and de-headed
1 batch cornbread stuffing (see index)
? cup melted butter

Remove the giblets from the infant and set aside.
Stuff the cavity where the child?s genitals and anus were located
  using ? cup per pound of meat.
Tie the arms flat to the body, then pull the skin flaps up to close the cavity.
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan.
Bake in 325? oven covered for 2 hours.
Remove cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the
  baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190?,
  about another hour.

Pro-Choice Po-Boy

Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics
thrive and hot French bread is always available.

2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flour
oil enough for deep frying
1 loaf French bre

Presentation September 2005, IAA Auto Show, Frankfurt, Germany;
sale in Germany starts in October 2005.

Juergen