Season Greetings to you,

I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting, but it is so
difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending

someone. So I got legal advice and I wish to say the following :

Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non
addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the summer solstice holiday
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2007 but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make America great (not to imply that America is
necessarily greater than any other country or is the only ?America? in
the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race creed color age
physical ability religious faith or sexual preference of the wisher.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted
to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
greeting whichever comes first and warranty are limited to replacement
of
this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wisher.

Disclaimer : No trees were harmed in the sending of this message
however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Best wishes,

Joe

--

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the
beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside
it without her.
- "Adam's Diary"