***I want to sincerely apologize to all of you out there in Usenet land
for the outrageously sick, demented actions of my old man, Will Sill.

***Ever since he slipped on the pablum he spilled on the kitchen room
floor and cracked open his head on his Big Wheel plastic motorcycle he
always leaves laying around in everyone's way, he just hasn't been the
same.

***Lately, he farts a lot, drools all over his shirts and furniture,
says nasty things to the neighbor kids, goes outside and stands in the
middle of the street with his Roy Rogers outfit on and shoots his cap
gun at passing cars, only bathes once every two weeks or so and does
other disgusting things too numerous and graphic to mention in this
family-oriented post.

***Also, in recent tests, we found that his IQ has dropped from the
previous dull normal score of 92.5 to a depressing 16.3, basically the
IQ of a plant that's not been watered for months.

***So please find it in your Christian hearts to forgive this sick old
bastard.  He is to be pitied in his sorrowful state, not denigrated.
So next time you read one of his sick, demented, ignorant, rambling,
mindless, ridiculous, rude, abrasive and dumb-a.s posts, please
remember that you are the lucky ones.  You don't have to read his
posts.  We, the family, are stuck with the old codger and bear the
brunt of his obnoxious behavior every day.  Thank you in advance for
your prayers.

-Will Sill, Junior