+++Visiting a K-Mart store the other day I was amazed to see a new
product prominently displayed.  It's the WILL SILL CLONE DOLL.  For
only $19.95 with no shipping or handling charge, you can now purchase a
life-size clone doll of the famous Will Sill.  Although not a true
genetic clone, this life-sized doll has several moving parts and runs
on only 6 AA alkaline batteries except for the mouth.  In order to hear
the doll ramble on mindlessly, at extra cost, you must purchase a heavy
duty deepcycle RV battery that fits into the back of Will's head (er,
the doll's head).  Gift wrapping is not available so you actually have
to be seen with it on your way home.

+++For even more realism. allow the battery to almost completely
discharge.  When this happens, the sound frpm the Will doll's mouth
become meaningless, unitelligible and fraught with inconsistencies.This
makes the Will doll appear even more real and lifelike.

+++For all of you old fart RV perverts out there in Usenet land, other
parts of the doll are NOT functional and lifelike so don't get your
hopes up.

+++At last report these life-sized wonders were selling fast, mostly to
wannabe RV "experts" who can't seem to get close enough to the Old
Curmudgeon and who are reportedly using them for comfort at night and
propping them up in the passenger seat of their RVs on those long,
lonely treks to the backcountry.  So hurry in, this is one of those
opportunities of a lifetime.  Don't be left in the exhaust fumes.  Buy
now!  They're going fast!