IIRC spec is 95 ft-lbs.  Use a torque wrench until you get a feel and
you can come quite close.  I always use anti-seize compound and it
works OK.  Anytime the threads have rust or other crud I clean with a
wire brush.

Use a torque wrench especially on aluminum wheels. They are particularly
sensitive to damage from over-tightening.
I use some grease on the threads but not on the flared portion of the nut.
This keeps the nut from binding onto the stud but uses the friction in the
flared area between the nut and the wheel to hold things in place.
I don't know when I last saw good 4-arm lug wrenches for sale. I had one I
bought in Sears about 30 years ago. They had two types, welded (so-so) and
forged (very strong). I got the forged one which I damaged last year trying
to remove the lugs on a neighbor's lexus. Figured the heck with it and got a
1/2" drive 2.5' breaker bar with a set of deep sockets. Hasn't failed me to
get of a stuck lug yet. I keep it in the spare tire well.
   Oppie