From my buddy Skip Lackie:
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10 Best Car Repair Tools of All Time

There are only 10 things in this world you need to fix any car, any
place, any time.

1. Duct Tape: Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in stickum
and plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator hose, upholstery,
insulation, tow rope, and more - in an easy to carry package. Sure,
there's prejudice surrounding duct tape in professional competitions,
but in the real world, everything from LeMans-winning Porsches to Atlas
rockets and attack-helicopters use it by the yard. The only thing that
can get you out of more scrapes is a quarter and a phone booth.
2. Vice Grips: Equally adept as a wrench, hammer, pliers, baling wire
twister, breaker-off of frozen bolts and wiggle-it-til-it-falls-off
tool. The heavy artillery of your tool box, vice grips are the only tool
designed expressly to fix things screwed up beyond repair.
3. Spray Lubricants: A considerably cheaper alternative to new doors,
alternator, and other squeaky items. Slicker than pig phlegm, repeated
soakings will allow the main hull bolts of the Andrea Doria to be
removed by hand. Strangely enough, an integral part of these sprays is
the infamous Little Red Tube that flies out of the nozzle if you look at
it cross eyed (one of the 10 worst tools of all time).
4. Margarine Tubs with Clear Lids: If you spend all your time under the
hood looking for a frendle pin that caromed off the pertal valve when
you knocked both off the air cleaner, it's because you eat butter. Real
mechanics consume pounds of tasteless vegetable oil replicas just so
they can use the empty tubs for parts containers afterward. (Some of
course chuck the butter-colored goo altogether or use it to repack wheel
bearings.) Unlike air cleaners and radiator lips, margarine tubs aren't
connected by a time/space wormhole to the Parallel Universe of Lost
Frendle Pins.
5. Big Rock at the Side of the Road: Block up a tire. Smack corroded
battery terminals. Pound out a dent. Bop noisy know-it-all types on the
noodle. Scientists have yet to develop a hammer that packs the raw
banging power of granite or limestone. This is the only tool with which
a "Made in Malaysia" emblem is not synonymous with the user being maimed.
6. Plastic Zip Ties: After 20 years of lashing down stray hose and
wiring with old bread ties, some genius brought a slightly slicked-up
version to the auto parts market. Fifteen zip ties can transform a
hulking mass of amateur-quality wiring from a working model of the
Brazilian Rain Forest into something remotely resembling a wiring
harness. Of course it works both ways. When buying a used car, subtract
$100 for each zip tie you find under the hood.
7. Ridiculously Large Craftsman Screwdriver: Let's admit it. There's
nothing better for prying, chiseling, lifting, breaking, splitting or
mutilating than a huge flatbladed screwdriver, particularly when wielded
with gusto and a big hammer. This is also the tool of choice for all oil
filters so insanely located that they can only be removed by driving a
stake in one side and out the other. If you break the screwdriver -- and
you will just like Dad and your shop teacher said -- who cares, it has a
lifetime guarantee.
8. Baling Wire: Commonly known as MG muffler brackets, baling wire holds
anything that's too hot for tape or ties. Like duct tape, it's not
recommended for NASCAR contenders, since it works so well you'll never
need to replace it with the right thing again. Baling wire is a
sentimental favorite in some circles, particularly with the Pinto,
Gremlin, and Rambler set.
9. Bonking Stick: This monstrous tuning fork with devilish pointy ends
is technically known as a tie-rod separator, but how often do you
separate tie-rod ends? Once every decade if you're lucky. Other than
medieval combat, its real use is the all-purpose application of undue
force, not unlike that of the huge flat-bladed screwdriver. Nature
doesn't know the bent metal panel or frozen exhaust pipe that can stand
up to a good bonking stick. (Can also be used to separate tie-rod ends
in a pinch, of course, but does a lousy job of it).
10. A Quarter and a Phone Booth: See tip #1 above.

* If it won't go - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway....

* Any tool dropped while repairing your rod will roll underneath to the
exact center of the car.

Other useful tools:

BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid
from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that
your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly
painted part you were drying.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and
is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in
their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for
drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes
to the rear wheel.

Anyone can restore a car, it takes a real man to cut one up.

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