New Element Discovered By Scientists

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Managerium." Managerium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by
forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.Since Managerium has no electrons, it
is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Managerium causes one
reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take
less than a second.Managerium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does
not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Managerium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that Managerium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it.

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