wow....wow............

So what makes a Sequoia or Highlander "snobbier"?  Do members of your
social circle truly rank a Toyota SUV, and by extension its driver,
higher on their "snob" list than a Toyota minivan that's outfitted like,
and drives like, a Lexus?

And....and....these people would be in your social circle....why?

Can you possibly compete with those people?  Or will you get the
Sequoia, only to be trumped a week later by one of them buying something
else?

Let me guess--you have at least one friend who bought a Prius simply
because it was a Prius and gave her bragging rights, not because it
solved any problem in her life.

You'd struggle with the relative lack of room in an SUV compared to the
Sienna, and the difficulty in getting people into that third row, and/or
the difficulty in parking the silly thing, AND the fuel bill, for the
"pleasure" of....what?  Will your current friends dump you if you get
yet another station wagon/minivan?  (Friends, not acquaintances.)

What sort of message does that deliver to your kids?  You know kids are
smart; you know they're going to ask you why you bought that big silly
SUV that you can't park, that they can't get into the third row without
Cirque du Soleil contortions, that they hear you gripe about the fuel
costs.  And you know they're going to say out loud, "I don't know why
Dad bought this thing, I liked the minivan better".

I'm floored.

Well, it's your money.  You can get the car you need or the car you want.
The one you want will cost more than the one you need.

We're driving a minivan until we're done moving kids into and out of college
and then maybe there will be grandkids to deal with and we'll get... another
minivan.  I don't think you'll find that a Sequoia configured for two plus
cargo or three plus cargo (our college dropoff/pickup profiles) will haul
more dorm junk than a minivan.  I'd bet a quarter that most minivans are
quieter, too, which is a huge benefit on those 12 hour trips.

Ray O also mentioned his mileage and brake experience.  Our Sienna mileage
is 19 or so around town and 24-26 when heavily loaded on the highway.  I
drive gently in town but noticeably over the limits on the highway.  We're
also on our first set of brake pads at 65K miles (maybe 50% left? I forget
what they said at the 60K service).  The 6 will be more economical than the
8 to service, I expect.

A Sienna XLE is more luxuriously equipped than an SR5 Sequoia for probably
$3K less.  An LE might be a little nicer, too, for even less.

My $.02 - get the minivan.  Splurge on some option or option package that
you wouldn't ordinarily get and then you'll have a "luxury car."  Focus on
that, rather than the minivan aspect.

For us, the switch from mini van to the Sequoia was more power.  Big kids
weigh more than infants, and with frequent camping/climbing excursions on
rough, unpaved roads that are sometimes unplowed or muddy, towing the
troop's trailer, hauling the contents of the kids' dorm rooms to college,
the SUV made sense for us.  Once the youngest is done with college, we'll
probably move to a Highlander or RX size SUV because I still plan on camping
and climbing, just with fewer kids.

BTW, unless you are hauling 4x8 sheets of plywood, the Sequoia has more room
than our minivan did, with room for 8 passengers in the Sequoia vs. 7 in the
minivan.

It's refreshing to see such honesty.

A friend of mine has a Highlander Hybrid, but without as many kids as you.
He and his wife like it, although gas mileage on the highway is somewhat
disappointing.  Fully loaded (with roof rack) they averaged only 24 MPG
driving from Texas to California.  However in-town, gas mileage is vastly
better than a conventional vehicle.

As someone (Ray O?) mentioned, the Highlander is being updated this spring
so you might wait a bit.  Fuel economy will be improved, Toyota says.