The Old Air Force Fighter Pilot

He was a ragged looking old man who shuffled into the bar that
afternoon. Stinking of whiskey and cigarettes,  his hands shook as he
took the
"Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and gave it to the bartender.
"I'll take this job," he said.

The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it
had been awhile since he had a player and business was falling off.

"What do you do?" he asked.

"I used to be a Air Force fighter pilot in Vietnam", was the answer.
Now, really unsure, the barkeep decided to at least give him a try...he
really needed more business. "The piano is over there...give it a go."

The old man staggered his way over to the piano and several patrons
snickered. But, by the time he was into the third bar of music, every
voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of sound and music
unlike anyone had ever heard in the bar before. When he finished, there
wasn't a dry eye in the place.

The bartender brought the old guy a beer and said that he sounded
really, really good. "What do you call that?" he asked.

"It's called Drop Your Panties, Baby, We're Gonna Rock Tonight," said
the old pilot as he took a long pull from the beer. "I got
another,"...and he began to play again. What followed was a
knee-slappin', hand-clappin bit of ragtime that had the place jumping.
People were coming in from the streets to hear this guy play. After he
finished, the pilot acknowledged the applause and told the crowd that
the song was called "Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Dance." He then
excused himself as he lurched off to the men's room.

After thinking a bit, the bartender decided to hire the guy, no matter
how bad he looked, or what his songs were called. When the guy came out
of the men's room, the bartender went over to tell him he had the job,
but noticed that the pilot's fly was undone and his member was hanging out.

He said "The job is yours but first I got to ask, do you know your fly
is undone and your dick is hanging out?

"Know it?" the pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!!