Continuing with the joke theme, here's a quickie:

A guy applies for a job on a building site as a labourer, gets hired, and
turns out to be the best worker the boss has seen. However, the next Monday
he calls in sick. "Hmm.. taking a long week-end" thinks the boss, but as
he's such a great worker he let's it go.

For the rest of the week he works his arse off, but calls in sick again on
the next Monday. The boss questions him on the Tuesday, and all the worker
says is "I was sick. I told you that on the phone".

The third Monday comes around and the worker calls in sick again, so the
boss decides to pay him a visit and catch him out. He drives around to his
house to see his car in the driveway, and bangs on the door. As he does so,
the door creaks open to show the worker and some bird going the tonk on the
loungeroom floor.

The boss is embarrassed at first and says "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge
in, but I thought I better come and check on you to see if you're okay". He
looks at the girl for a minute and says "Hey, this girl looks remarkably
like you! who is she?"

"She's my sister" says the worker. "You're sister?" "You're f.cking your
sister?" the boss says in disbelief.

The worker replies "Well, yeah. I *told* you I was sick" :)

Boom tish.

--
Regards,
Noddy.

what are we telling Polish jokes instead of Irish jokes now?
More Yank shite to pollute australia with?
f.ck off Yank lover!

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could
arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would
depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: "Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say, Polish Remover'."