GM Shifts to Manual Transmissions for Global Warming

Responding to growing concerns over global warming, General Motors
(GM) announced today that it would make all of its vehicles with
standard transmissions, starting in 2009. Manual transmissions
generally get better fuel mileage than automatics.

GM CEO Rick Wagoner described the initiative at a press conference at
the company headquarters in Detroit: "We've been coddling our lazy
fellow Americans for too long. It's time everyone started using their
left foot. This is what Jesus would do."

Wagoner said that manual transmissions typically get 2-3 mpg better
mileage than the same vehicle equipped with an automatic, and that in
some cases the difference can be as much as 5 mpg. GM plans to focus
on high-efficiency manuals to minimize the company's output of
greenhouse gases. Manuals are also generally considered more fun to
drive and less expensive to manufacture and maintain.

The GM announcement received a mixed reaction. The late Jerry Falwell
rose from his grave to insist that Jesus would have driven a large van
with an automatic, because he would need to carry so many of his
followers. Other religious leaders hailed the effort to reduce global
warming.

On the environmental side, NRDC President Frances Beineke applauded
the move and encouraged other auto manufacturers to follow suit.

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i21068

Well, it's all A SPOOF! You knew it, right? You know that, although
making a lot of sense, nothing will make the HUNGRY CORPORATIONS get
into a diet. Well, nothing but THE REVOLUTION...

http://atom.smasher.org/streetparty/?l1=Coming+Soon%3A&l2=the&l3=Banana+Revoluti
on%21&l4=

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
http://webspawner.com/users/donquijote